IDHAR UDHAR KI BAAT 74- KALU
On the way back from the village, I turned to my mother and declared, “I’m never going back to your village.”
She chuckled and said, “Beta, yeh to mama-bhanja teasing hai, Punjabi culture ka hissa hai (Son, this uncle-nephew banter is part of Punjabi culture). Don’t take it seriously. In fact, it’s totally acceptable to give it back.”
That was all the encouragement I needed. The next time someone called me "Kalu," I was ready with my retorts: "Khurki Mama" (Itchy Uncle), "Langda Mama" (Lame Uncle), or "Kana Mama" (One-eyed Uncle). Within two days, my mother received a soft complaint: "Munda jyada hi tej ho gaya hai. (The boy has become too smart)."
I had found my groove. What started as name-calling turned into a full-blown sport. If someone called me “Kalu,” I would retaliate with a creative arsenal: Motu (Fat), Phina (Small-nosed), Nassal (Puffed-up nostrils), Boda (Toothless), Thatha (Stammerer), or even Chitta (Fair Complexioned)—no one was spared! From being a shy, self-conscious kid, I suddenly became the life of the village, a master of Punjabi banter.
Punjabis have a knack for using nicknames or descriptors based on physical traits, quirks, or deformities. While it might seem blunt or insensitive to outsiders, it’s rooted in humour and camaraderie. This practice diminishes the emotional weight of imperfections, shifting focus to personality and achievements. For instance, Maharaja Ranjit Singh, who was blind in one eye, was affectionately called "Kana Ranjit" without any impact on his respect or legacy.
It also served as pressure release valve to let out pent up feelings. For example, Lord Henry Hardinge, The Governor-General was called Tunda Laat (one-handed lord) to express their anguish on his role in the First Anglo Sikh War.
Nicknames in Punjabi culture create bonds that transcend formality. Humour is a coping mechanism that fosters resilience and positivity. By laughing at imperfections, Punjabis break barriers of elitism and artificial politeness, creating a culture where everyone is equal in banter.
Fast forward to the academy, and I thought I had left my “Kalu” days behind. But no, I was christened “Speko Khalsa (spectacled sardar)” . Sitting next to me in a central lecture was a curse, because the instructors would inevitably call out, “that GC next to Speko Khalsa, get up and answer!”
In the last week before passing out, I was marched up to the company commander ( a Punjabi). I saluted, bracing for a punishment that might delay my leave. Instead, he asked, “Kya mila? (Which regiment have you been allotted?)”
“Sir, The Madras Regiment,” I replied.
“Good,” he said with a smirk. “Kalu Khalsa will merge right into his regiment.”
I smiled nervously, wondering if punishment was still on the horizon. But before I could relax, he shouted, “Now shove that smile up you’re **** and get lost! Don’t do it again.”
In my new unit, I assumed I will not be reminded of the dark complexion. Wrong again.
“Enta Krishnan (which Krishnan),” I asked the CHM to know which among the three Krishnans was detailed for the pre course.
“Karuppu Krishnan saar (Dark complexioned Krishnan sir),” replied the CHM.
It turns out, that dark complexion transcends the cultures!
Recently I came to know that there is something called ‘body shaming’. I also heard of the phrases like, trait-based shaming, appearance-based bullying, identity ridicule, physical attribute mockery, dehumanizing humour. I wonder the type of resilience among the kids who grow up under the shadow of such phrases.
Note:- Please write yours comments on the last paragraph. Also the interesting name callings you have heard of.
Reminds me of my School Days in UP. The Male Teacher, was called Maas Saab.The specs of one had different power for bith eyes, making one eye look odd sized, he was named Athanni Chavvani..Shorty was called Tullu Water Pump. Two brothers were posted as teachers, relaxed type was called Siddhu and the one with shirt temper was called Giddu.
ReplyDeleteNot to forget,in Sainik Schools, every Cadet has a Nick name. Trust me.
Lovely narration sir. As usual!
ReplyDelete😀👍
ReplyDeleteSubtle and smooth….you are good bro
ReplyDeleteTipu" complexion nuh ki karna dil Kala hona chahida" this is the mantra of our society in which we live. Good you often got singled out and by dafault you could put your point even without raising your hand in exercises and sand models. Perching you to the rank of a Brigadier. My elder brother who was your father similarly singled out may be complexion would have played it's role, he rose very high in life to become a Chief Engineer in NHPC. If we not fair complexioned then let that be.
ReplyDeleteYou narate smallest nuances of human interactions so effortlessly . Let your pen flow ..........
ReplyDeleteInteresting and humorous
ReplyDeleteVery nicely pen down sir. Too good.
ReplyDeleteInteresting and full of humour. At the same time I think in some cases this was being done for ease of identification. Petrol rukta hai ( stammering), motu , patlu, chotu ,lambu , langada , tunda , ganja , kallu and so many 😀
ReplyDeleteaptly put across the nuances of Punjabis and knitted smoothly in this episode. Punch line ( para) probably triggered it , and so rightly.
ReplyDeleteNice n humourous anecdote bro.The name calling was always part of our growing up.Always taken positively.However this new trend of body shaming in no way helps in healthy growing .Once again a nice write up PS.
ReplyDeleteLovely Sir - Grew up in Military School and every one had a nickname name and it has stuck to us till date - aptly described by u
ReplyDeletethats a fine one Sir
ReplyDeleteVery good narration Sir but the present generation will hardly be able to co relate most of the things especially the visit to maternals village during holidays . Few some banter names I recollect from my hostel days in PPS .. Bhoot, katta, Soor, Gadha ( donkey) , Murga, Daandu, Hathi, Thatha ( Bull ) Amli , Sohni , Chuhi ( female rat ) etc etc … the list is long sir .
ReplyDeleteSir somehow I think you grow closer to the person whom you call by nickname and he doesn't mind. Being studied in boarding school & college, we still call each other by nicknames and feel young.
ReplyDeleteIt's a daily affair at our home between my children. My son calls my daughter 'Kali'. She used to sulk earlier but has now started giving it back in equal or plus measure to him.
ReplyDeleteWonderful narration sir.
Well written sir.. accepting ones peculiar appearance does reduce the fear of rejection or redicule esp amongst peers..chamdi moti ho toh chot kam hi lagegi..
ReplyDeleteWarm Regards
Very nice..
ReplyDeleteMasterpiece Sir
ReplyDeleteBeing from the same stock of rural background haryanvi, can relate to everything narrated . Yes the initial feelings were the same when someone nicknames you, it's only when an elder is able to explain the rural way of life where nicknames are as common as BC an inadvertently spoken slang , the moment of truth and one starts enjoying or neglecting based on the advice give by mother, father, elders or cousins. The moment you start reacting against or feeling teased it aggravates. The humorous banters and the lucid description is something I always cherish.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to the next .
Regards
Transcended to younger days, school, academy and service life. We all had and gave others coded nicknames. Wonderful memories refreshed.....thanks
ReplyDeleteNice and humorous way of describing the stereotyping in the society. How you take it and give it back matters. This is what made one resilient and mentally strong. Today's wokeism and political correctness has taken out the fun and humour out of life?
ReplyDeleteBorn n brought up in the Armoured Corps, I too have met Tiny Dhillon, Spanner Sandhu n many more. Due to my own Burj Khalifa height, I am still called Tinku Tewari. Wonderful insight into the Punjabi culture.
ReplyDeleteVery hilarious read. We still continue to invent nick names for most we know. In fact nobody is perfect for not having such nick names 😊
ReplyDeleteMast Hai sir reminded my younger days. As always too good, God bless you warm regards 🙏
ReplyDeleteWonderful way your mother taught you how to reply to people who you thought offended you by calling you Kalu. And equally nice to learn that you don’t take any umbrage on being addressed as such. So buddy be prepared to call me what you want to nickname me as when we meet next time I am going to address you like that. 😝😝😝
ReplyDeleteBlessed with a dark complexion Kaallu was a moniker I acquired the moment I joined a prestigious public school in Delhi. The competition of fairness was very steep as most of my classmates were cherubic angels from the business communities of Delhi. The only saving grace was that they had names like Sweety, Preeti, Lucky and Happy. As consoled by my Mom, the saving grace was, as I grew up my complexion lightened.... Not due to use of any cream like Fair and Lovely, but more due to the increase in surface area and stretching of the skin as promised by my even Dark complexions Dad.
ReplyDeleteInteresting indeed.
ReplyDeleteName calling is no history. It has been there for ages and shall remain for the time to come.
When I was selected and joined a boarding school in Bangalore 1972 in class 5th, as was in practise, the new entrants had to introduce themselves on a stage with a joke or a song. During my turn I introduced myself and sang 3-4 stanzas of Jugni. I didn't know the heck of what Jugni meant in those days. Lo behold, I began to be known as JUGNI in the school. I didn't like it throughout my school days. Later during college days someone sang the same song in the inter college youth festival and was adjudged the best singer. He almost imitated Gurmeet Bawa. It was during this performance that I learnt about Jugni and the place it had earned in the history of Panjab and its art and culture.
My classmates and those my seniors who vaguely remembered this song could relate it when Gurdas Maan became a sensation in mid/late eighties. Those of few whom I met while in service appreciated my nickname.
Then came WhatsApp. With it we created schoolmate and classmate groups which again brought us together. Today I am the same proud JUGNI for all of them.
Even today I love my mates calling and addressing me as Jugni post retirement. 😁🙏🏻
Crisp, well written as usual
ReplyDeleteAmazing as Always PSG!
ReplyDeleteNicknames or name calling was part and parcel of our growing up!
Even among the coursemates in the army we have some funny names for each other!!!
However now this is termed as Body Shaming!
छेड़ was something we all have lived through, what you have narrated is so natural to us in our era. However it had it's repurcussion on the timid mind and the world is changing, and hence the body shaming etc has come along, let us accept it as a change.
ReplyDeleteटिंडा, काणा, टिड्डा, बेहंगा are a few common ones we have heard all our lives, so that be. Great article sir.
Found very interesting to read. You have keen sense of observation and can bring it in written form very lucidly. Good Article.
ReplyDeleteGood one specky Kalu khalsa - reminds me of a couple of course mates - every one avoided being next to them . Good one
ReplyDeleteVery interesting and so true. Having roots in a punjabi village and National Defence Academy, I can relate to every word you have written. Great job.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written with brutal humour. You are right; such names made our world more real and normalised. The changed world of political correctness is making the world dull, listless and touchy.
ReplyDeleteName calling seems to be acceptable in a limited & friendly environment - however when name calling takes an ugly form with the intention of disgracing someone or gaining a competitive advantage it can have disastrous psychological repercussions - its like repeating a lie may make it appear like a truth !!!
ReplyDeleteLovely write up, as usual, PSG. Your observations of daily life are spot on, as is your wonderful way of putting them across. My father was nicknamed 'Mullah' in RIMC. Many years later, his classmate showed me a photo of him playing the role of a Maulvi in a school play, hence the name. He was perfectly comfortable and was know by it till he passed. There were no religious or any other connotations with it and all was well with the world. A more tolerant time, i guess.
ReplyDeleteMama's village and those times were really different. You could play any prank and get away. Various shamings you described may affect negatively a person with low self esteem otherwise it is an healthy practice of light hearted bantering. Lovely narration as always PSG.
ReplyDeleteRarely a person got courage to laugh on himself & further more difficult is to jot it down for public reading.
ReplyDeleteHats off sir.
For nicely articulated the happenings.
I am strong admirer of your courage of conviction.
Regards, Salute.
Nicely written and self-deprecating.
ReplyDeleteBut maybe I am a contrarian. Don't like nickname, which, in my view, is an euphemism for name calling. In Bangla we have daak naam (read, nickname). Some are not endearing at all: a 5 year-old being called बूढ़ो.
Monikers that embellishes one's personality, or, are an abridged part of your name, or, are neutral are fine, but one that degrades one's personality is a strict no-no for me. Was called machhi -alluding to my Bangla background- by my coursemate in the Academy. But that's alright, because it's neutral.
But, each his/her own, I guess. There is a reason why a blind man is called Surdas (with respect )in the Hindi heartland.
Great as usual. Laughing at oneself means you have reached the High plane..One is still remembered better associated with our nick names in school..and no offense is taken..Infact its more endearing
ReplyDeleteThe tendency to use nick names amongst people is indicative of a certain closeness which is not very common. I have a gut feeling that it is more common among Punjabis. I have observed this in the Khalsa Battery of our unit.
ReplyDeleteIn Kerala with its accelerating urbanisation this is rarely seen. One exception is my paternal native village. A coastal fishing village in Travancore where people resorted to some esoteric name calling. Names such as, "Sky spitter", "coconut milk" "Elephant ears/legs" pig tail, camel etc would be used with gay abandon. There was one guy who was badly afflicted with polio, who gave the impression of rowing a boat while he walked with great difficulty. He was affectionately called "vallam = boat".
In our family I was considered both fair and tall. During training at the IMA, one day I was called by our Company Commander to sign my report. To my utter horror the report began "A short dark south Indian GC". He of course was a 6 foot 3 inch fair Surd. That's when I understood the theory of relativity.
Wonderful post Paramjit. It induced a sort of inner warmth and glow. Well done and keep at it.
Interesting and captivating as usual
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written as always. The humorous banters and the lucid description with which you touch every day issues is something I always appreciate .
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to the next .
Regards