IDHAR UDHAR KI BAAT 74- KALU
On the way back from the village, I turned to my mother and declared, “I’m never going back to your village.”
She chuckled and said, “Beta, yeh to mama-bhanja teasing hai, Punjabi culture ka hissa hai (Son, this uncle-nephew banter is part of Punjabi culture). Don’t take it seriously. In fact, it’s totally acceptable to give it back.”
That was all the encouragement I needed. The next time someone called me "Kalu," I was ready with my retorts: "Khurki Mama" (Itchy Uncle), "Langda Mama" (Lame Uncle), or "Kana Mama" (One-eyed Uncle). Within two days, my mother received a soft complaint: "Munda jyada hi tej ho gaya hai. (The boy has become too smart)."
I had found my groove. What started as name-calling turned into a full-blown sport. If someone called me “Kalu,” I would retaliate with a creative arsenal: Motu (Fat), Phina (Small-nosed), Nassal (Puffed-up nostrils), Boda (Toothless), Thatha (Stammerer), or even Chitta (Fair Complexioned)—no one was spared! From being a shy, self-conscious kid, I suddenly became the life of the village, a master of Punjabi banter.
Punjabis have a knack for using nicknames or descriptors based on physical traits, quirks, or deformities. While it might seem blunt or insensitive to outsiders, it’s rooted in humour and camaraderie. This practice diminishes the emotional weight of imperfections, shifting focus to personality and achievements. For instance, Maharaja Ranjit Singh, who was blind in one eye, was affectionately called "Kana Ranjit" without any impact on his respect or legacy.
It also served as pressure release valve to let out pent up feelings. For example, Lord Henry Hardinge, The Governor-General was called Tunda Laat (one-handed lord) to express their anguish on his role in the First Anglo Sikh War.
Nicknames in Punjabi culture create bonds that transcend formality. Humour is a coping mechanism that fosters resilience and positivity. By laughing at imperfections, Punjabis break barriers of elitism and artificial politeness, creating a culture where everyone is equal in banter.
Fast forward to the academy, and I thought I had left my “Kalu” days behind. But no, I was christened “Speko Khalsa (spectacled sardar)” . Sitting next to me in a central lecture was a curse, because the instructors would inevitably call out, “that GC next to Speko Khalsa, get up and answer!”
In the last week before passing out, I was marched up to the company commander ( a Punjabi). I saluted, bracing for a punishment that might delay my leave. Instead, he asked, “Kya mila? (Which regiment have you been allotted?)”
“Sir, The Madras Regiment,” I replied.
“Good,” he said with a smirk. “Kalu Khalsa will merge right into his regiment.”
I smiled nervously, wondering if punishment was still on the horizon. But before I could relax, he shouted, “Now shove that smile up you’re **** and get lost! Don’t do it again.”
In my new unit, I assumed I will not be reminded of the dark complexion. Wrong again.
“Enta Krishnan (which Krishnan),” I asked the CHM to know which among the three Krishnans was detailed for the pre course.
“Karuppu Krishnan saar (Dark complexioned Krishnan sir),” replied the CHM.
It turns out, that dark complexion transcends the cultures!
Recently I came to know that there is something called ‘body shaming’. I also heard of the phrases like, trait-based shaming, appearance-based bullying, identity ridicule, physical attribute mockery, dehumanizing humour. I wonder the type of resilience among the kids who grow up under the shadow of such phrases.
Note:- Please write yours comments on the last paragraph. Also the interesting name callings you have heard of.
.png)
Reminds me of my School Days in UP. The Male Teacher, was called Maas Saab.The specs of one had different power for bith eyes, making one eye look odd sized, he was named Athanni Chavvani..Shorty was called Tullu Water Pump. Two brothers were posted as teachers, relaxed type was called Siddhu and the one with shirt temper was called Giddu.
ReplyDeleteNot to forget,in Sainik Schools, every Cadet has a Nick name. Trust me.
Lovely narration sir. As usual!
ReplyDelete😀👍
ReplyDeleteSubtle and smooth….you are good bro
ReplyDeleteTipu" complexion nuh ki karna dil Kala hona chahida" this is the mantra of our society in which we live. Good you often got singled out and by dafault you could put your point even without raising your hand in exercises and sand models. Perching you to the rank of a Brigadier. My elder brother who was your father similarly singled out may be complexion would have played it's role, he rose very high in life to become a Chief Engineer in NHPC. If we not fair complexioned then let that be.
ReplyDeleteYou narate smallest nuances of human interactions so effortlessly . Let your pen flow ..........
ReplyDeleteInteresting and humorous
ReplyDeleteVery nicely pen down sir. Too good.
ReplyDeleteInteresting and full of humour. At the same time I think in some cases this was being done for ease of identification. Petrol rukta hai ( stammering), motu , patlu, chotu ,lambu , langada , tunda , ganja , kallu and so many 😀
ReplyDeleteaptly put across the nuances of Punjabis and knitted smoothly in this episode. Punch line ( para) probably triggered it , and so rightly.
ReplyDeleteNice n humourous anecdote bro.The name calling was always part of our growing up.Always taken positively.However this new trend of body shaming in no way helps in healthy growing .Once again a nice write up PS.
ReplyDeleteLovely Sir - Grew up in Military School and every one had a nickname name and it has stuck to us till date - aptly described by u
ReplyDeletethats a fine one Sir
ReplyDeleteVery good narration Sir but the present generation will hardly be able to co relate most of the things especially the visit to maternals village during holidays . Few some banter names I recollect from my hostel days in PPS .. Bhoot, katta, Soor, Gadha ( donkey) , Murga, Daandu, Hathi, Thatha ( Bull ) Amli , Sohni , Chuhi ( female rat ) etc etc … the list is long sir .
ReplyDeleteSir somehow I think you grow closer to the person whom you call by nickname and he doesn't mind. Being studied in boarding school & college, we still call each other by nicknames and feel young.
ReplyDeleteIt's a daily affair at our home between my children. My son calls my daughter 'Kali'. She used to sulk earlier but has now started giving it back in equal or plus measure to him.
ReplyDeleteWonderful narration sir.