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IDHAR UDHAR KI BAAT 124 - SMART ALEC Brig PS Gothra (Retd)

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  “What happened?” my senior asked, noticing that I was sulking. “I got a proper dressing down from the Commander today,” I replied gloomily. “He called me an imbecile.” I was only twenty-three then—though I had already spent eighteen months in hard combat in Sri Lanka and Manipur. In my young mind, that qualified me as reasonably battle-hardened. Apparently, however, battlefield experience did not automatically translate into wisdom about guest rooms. “Why?” my senior asked, trying not to smile. “I’m in charge of the guest room where the General and his wife are going to stay,” I explained. “The Commander came for inspection and scolded me for not ensuring that a packet of sanitary napkins and… protection… was kept in the room.” I paused, still baffled. “I found the instruction rather irrational,” I continued. “After all, the General and his wife must be at least fifty-five years old!” My senior burst into hearty laughter. “It’s good you didn’t present that bri...
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IDHAR UDHAR KI BAAT 123 – YES, SIR Brig PS Gothra (Retd)

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  “At four-thirty we give bed tea, and even then one odd fellow is still trickling in for PT parade at six-thirty. How do you expect us to be ready for operations in two and a half hours in the operations area?” The Subedar Saab said in disbelief. His remark came after I explained that our formation commander had announced during a sand-model discussion that we can mobilise in half the time. Perhaps he wanted to impress his superior. Or perhaps he wanted to show down the neighbouring formation commander in front of his boss, who happened to be a strong proponent of the fashionable doctrine of the day — Cold Start . But the Subedar knew soldiers better than any of us sitting around that sand model. “Saab, our Tambhis are very hygienic people. They like to bathe properly, shave carefully, brush their teeth and freshen up before stepping out. Some of them spend five minutes just cleaning their tongue, making all those guttural sounds. Only after that do they feel ready to fa...
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IDHAR UDHAR KI BAAT 122 - CYA to AI Brig PS Gothra (Retd)

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  “I can’t find my passport photo,” I said, after wasting a good ten minutes digging through my phone to upload it on the Artificial Intelligence (AI) Summit registration app. “Just take a selfie and upload it,” my son said casually. And just like that, the registration was done. I made a mental note: Remember to take off your blinkers while thinking. After all, you’re visiting an AI summit. The first stall I visited claimed it could automatically detect and resolve fraud in banking transactions. “So even then, is it possible AI might miss something?” I asked in my best sceptical tone. The young chap looked at me as if I had just asked whether the sun rises in the west, but he patiently began explaining the safeguards. By then, my brain had quietly switched to standby mode. This had happened before—ten years ago, when a junior officer tried to explain that automation had made physical registers unnecessary. I was in full CYA (Cover Your Ass) mode then. “But how will the book inspec...
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IDHAR UDHAR KI BAAT 121- SASTA DAIPER Brig PS Gothra (Retd)

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 “You know, a very obese man once died,” the old man began casually, as if recalling a village anecdote. “And the task of finding solution to lift the body was given to Tipu Gothra. No one seemed to know—or perhaps no one cared—that Tipu Gothra suffered from cerebral palsy. After hours of deep ‘analysis’, his brilliant recommendation was that the pubic hair of the dead man be shaved off.” The ex-fauji raised an eyebrow. “What else could he have suggested? A dead man’s weight doesn’t reduce with ideas. And anyway, why are you even bringing this up?” “Oh, I forgot to mention,” the old man added with mock innocence, “Tipu Gothra was also an ex-fauji, just like you. The task was to design a device or some clever improvisation to lift the body—without magically reducing its weight. I remembered this story because these days everyone is talking about something called ‘taxing disability’.” “Yes,” the ex-fauji nodded. “That’s to prevent misuse of facilities by some people.” The ol...
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