FABLE OF U AAS PAAK RELATIONSHIP Brig PS Gothra (Retd)

 

I hope the current Iran War doesn't get into a scene as shown on the sketch. A Fable written on Ofghan experience of U ASS is given below.

Not very long ago there was a lion in a jungle. His name was U AAS. He had contained his rivals, so he became hegemonic and started acting as a self-appointed policeman. In the same jungle there was a fox called Paak. Paak was living in penury and had lost his house in an earthquake. One day he moved into the den of U AAS. When Paak saw U AAS approaching he spanked his three children (Taliban, Al Qaida and Nuclear Card). The children started wailing. 

“Don’t cry my dear children today I can’t get you lion’s flesh as lion seems to have gone out somewhere. You will have to feed on elephant’s flesh,” said Paak. 

U AAS got shit-scared. He wondered there must be some monster who has the guts to occupy his house. The kids of that monster want to feed on lion’s flesh. He quietly moved away. 

All this was being watched by a monkey called Issrail. He had an axe to grind with Paak. He went to U AAS and told him that Paak has made a fool of him, so, he should teach him a lesson.  U AAS didn’t like the idea. But Issrail told him not to be afraid as he personally will accompany the U AAS. Still the U AAS expressed that Issrail will climb the nearest tree leaving him at the mercy of that monster. Finally, on Issrail’s assurance the U AAS agreed. But as a safety he insisted on tying their hands with each other. A rope was procured and the two animals after tying each other started moving towards the den. Unfortunate for them, Paak saw them coming from far. He quietly moved in. As soon as the lion reached within the hearing distance Paak again spanked his children. When they started wailing, he told them “Don’t worry children today the monkey uncle has promised to bring the lion tied with a rope.”

This made the U AAS bolt in fright. Fortunately, the rope snapped. Otherwise, all of monkey's bones would have broken banging into each tree trunk they crossed. Paak was happy with this. But he wanted to see the state of the monkey. So, he ventured out. He saw the monkey unconscious, badly battered and lying under a tree. Then he heard someone struggling nearby. To his delight he saw U AAS half stuck in a hollow tree trunk called Of-gun-istaan. The tree trunk was closed from the other side and hence the way out was backwards. Paak found it to be a good opportunity and started ramming the U AAS. The plight of U AAS was such that he could not move back, he cannot tighten his rear(diplomacy) as it hurts and he cannot let loose because the Paak rammed him harder and his head (forces) banged on the other side of the hollow tree trunk.

 After sometimes Paak got tired. He felt that if the pressure was not on, the U AAS may wriggle his way out.  So, to keep the pressure on he called lusty bear (N Corea ) and zebra (Eran) to keep ramming U AAS in turn.

Paak remembered his hungry kids. While the U AAS was being rammed by N Corea, he shouted “Dear U AAS it is a pity to see you being rammed by N Corea. I didn’t know you had such intimate relationship with the N Corea. Should I inform the jungle? 

“Noooooo”, said lion “don’t tell anyone. You are my best friend. How can you do this to me?” Replied U AAS.

“Well, there is another problem,” said Paak, “a giant animal is staying in your den. His children want to have lion’s flesh. He is hunting for you. In case he gets to know that you are here in a vulnerable position he will certainly head for this place.”  

“My only partner against war on terror please take out my ATM card. The code is ****. Draw some money and feed that monster and his kids with some very delicious Kebabs so that they forget about the lion’s flesh,” said U AAS.

As Paak was moving away the U AAS shouted, “by the way this is not a blank cheque.”