AZADI (A true story) Brig PS Gothra(Retd)

 

Nikhil and Anu were very happy after the dinner thrown by their mother Amrita on the occasion of Nikhil getting a job in the excise department. As they turned towards their bedroom to change and sleep, their mother said, "I want a gift from both of you. Can you sit here with me for five minutes?"

Excited that it was the first time their mother was asking something from them, they quickly sat down on the sofa. Anu said, "Anything for you, Mom. Please tell us what you want. Now that both of us have jobs, there is no problem at all. Isn’t it, Nikhil?"

“Yes, Mom, tell us whatever you want,” repeated Nikhil.

“I want Azadi,” said Amrita tersely.

Both were dumbstruck. After a few seconds' silence, they asked in unison, “Azadi?”

“Yes, next week I am turning forty. I am planning to move out of this house and live alone. I have already rented a small flat on the other side of Delhi. For the next ten years, I want to fulfil all my desires, which had to be suppressed for one reason or the other. I will keep working in the school for my subsistence.”

“We will fulfil all your desires. I thought your happiness was in staying with us and looking after us,” said Anu.

“Let me tell you about the tough life I have led. Only then can you understand that I deserve some enjoyment in life. As you know, I was the fourth child in a poor family of six daughters and two sons. The daughters in my family were treated as slaves. There was huge discrimination. For example, the girls were not allowed to use soap or toothpaste. They had to use ash to bathe or clean teeth. Once, I used the soap meant for my brothers. I was beaten up and not given food for one whole day by my parents. We wore old clothes passed on from one sister to the other. We read from old books and went to the government school, which didn’t charge any fee. We worked in the fields and did all the chores. We ate only dal and rice. Whenever a vegetable or some special dish was cooked, it was partaken of by my brothers and parents only. We had to just fulfil our appetite with the aroma or sometimes the leftover gravy. All the time, I waited for Navratri to eat something delicious in our neighbourhood. That also stopped once I attained puberty. During winters, we had to wear tattered woollens. At night, we were given old blankets with a number of holes, so all the sisters had to huddle together to save ourselves from cold,” said Amrita, with tears almost rolling down her eyes.

“You never told us this?” Asked Nikhil with anger oozing out of his cheeks.

“I didn’t want you to grow up with anger and be bad citizens. Now you are 22 and your sister is 23; you are mature enough to judge and overlook things.”

“Even the girls were asked to work in the fields?” Asked Anu.

“Yes, we did every farming activity like ploughing, sowing, transplantation, de-weeding, harvesting and cattle rearing. Besides, I was given the task to graze a few goats the family reared. In fact, I spent so much time with these animals that they started communicating with me. Sometimes, when I was sad, they would come and lick me up. When the local butcher turned up at our place every month or two, the goats knew that one of them was going to be taken for slaughter. While the chosen one was being dragged, it used to look at me and convey, Amrita aaj bachalo (rescue me today). And I used to convey my helplessness. That evening, my parents enjoyed the mutton sent by the butcher, but I used to cry the whole night. In the morning, I solaced myself that at least God has made me a superior being and I do not have the predicament like the goats.”

“But you are a teacher. How could you study when you were grazing goats?” Asked Nikhil.

“The old books were available, which I read in the grazing time. I appeared and passed the exams without attending the class. The teachers were helpful. I was able to pass the tenth class and wanted to study more. But my parents were not ready to spend any money on my study. Then your father landed up at our house. He was a widower, so he paid some money to my parents and married me. I was sixteen years old and he was thirty-three. I moved with him to Delhi. He was a truck driver who used to go out for long durations. But he used to assault me sexually and physically. Whenever he came back from a trip, I prayed to God like the way my goats used to plead, God aaj bachalo. In the first year of our marriage, Anu was born and in the second year, Nikhil was born. After that, the intensity of torture by your father reduced a little. Maybe I had got accustomed to ill-treatment, or maybe the love for my children gave me the courage to bear it all.”

“You always narrated good things about our father. If he was that bad, how did he allow you to get further education and teach in our school.”

“When Anu turned three, I approached your school for her admission. The tuition fee was very high, so the principal suggested that if I joined the school as an ayah (maid), I could get almost free education for my kids. I joined the school. It was difficult initially to take care of you two along with the other children in the school, but I slowly started managing. As you grew up, I felt that I should learn English and other subjects so that I am able to teach you. Someone guided me to upgrade my education to the NTT level. I worked hard and got good grades in the NTT exams. The school offered me the job of pre-primary teacher, which I readily accepted.”

“Mom, you still have not answered me about our father allowing you to go in for a job,” asked Nikhil.

“Since you insist, I will narrate it to you. When I told your father about Anu’s admission and my job, he got a stick and started hitting me. By that time, I had grown strong and he had gone weak due to his drinking. Also, I was focused on having a better future for my children. I don’t know from where I got the courage and strength; I snatched the stick from him and started beating him. I stopped only when he was quiet or scared. From that day till his death in a road accident the next year, he never interfered. But I am also thankful to him for some things. Firstly, he invested in this house in Laxmi Nagar. Secondly, he didn’t indulge in unsafe sex. Those days, half the truck drivers were suffering from HIV AIDs. I was in no position to protect myself. It was only when I joined the job that I learnt about safe sex and birth control.”

“What are those desires of yours which you can’t fulfil staying with us?”

“I want to do a lot of things like visit a foreign country, trek, learn how to dance, wear western dresses, attend parties, learn to swim, learn to drive, ride an aircraft and befriend a man who treats me as an equal person and not a toy for his carnal pleasure. Some of these things may not be palatable to our neighbourhood here and thus affect your peace of mind. What do you say?”

“As you wish, Mom. We are with you. Are you having an affair?” asked both Anu and Nikhil.

“No, I am not,” said Amrita emphatically and moved out of the room.

On her birthday, after cutting the cake, Amrita brought her suitcase, hugged both her children and started to go. Nikhil stepped forward to stop her, but Anu held him from doing so.