IDHAR UDHAR KI BAAT 55 - BIAS AGAINST CHIKNI ANGREJI

 IDHAR UDHAR KI BAAT 55 – BIAS AGAINST CHIKNI ANGREJI

Brig PS Gothra (Retd)

As our neighbour was relishing the breakfast, my grandmother asked the lady if she should prepare the breakfast for her husband and child also. 

"No thanks Beji. My maid prepared bread omelette for them before they went to school and the office," said the lady. Mrs Jassi had shifted in our neighbourhood a month ago. I held her in very high esteem because of her flawless, fluent and smooth spoken English (chikni angreji).

"So, you could have also had breakfast prepared by your maid, rather than making me prepare the same bread and omelette for you?" Asked Beji.

"Beji, to tell you frankly my maid is suffering from a severe cold."  And then the lady went on to add the details regarding misuse of dish towel by the maid.

Beji gave her a nice dressing down for being so lethargic. It didn’t have any effect on her for she was requesting Beji for lunch also.

That day I changed my opinion about the lady as I had not gone to school for the severe cold. It didn't require much to imagine the messy breakfast the maid made for Mrs Jassi’s family.

A day later I got to know that the goras use paper. It all added up to an unfounded assumption that the chikni angreji walas are useless and messy. Unknowingly the chikni angreji became an excluding criteria when I was looking for a life partner. I am also extra careful with chikni angreji wala subordinates even though I have found some other people to be equally messy. 

As a child I used to enjoy the boiled eggs and the chai prepared by my Mamiji. The taste of desi andas sprinkled with rock salt and coarsely ground pepper along with over boiled chai prepared with liberal use of milk was heavenly. The peculiar flavour of caramelized sugar in the tea left a beautiful after-taste on your palate. But it all ended one day when I saw my Mamiji brewing tea in the same water in which she had boiled the eggs. From my next visit I was a non tea drinker. When asked I told Mamiji, "cha peen naal rang kala ha janda hai(consumption of tea gives you dark complexion). That left my Mamiji in a state of utter confusion. Those who have seen me can fathom the depth of my Mamiji's confusion. Of course, I couldn't forgo the eggs due to Mamiji’s affection. 

Another problem with affection is that people take out exclusive and costly mugs to serve you tea when they feel a brigadier saab has  come to them. In their excitement they don't rinse the cups. Not realising that these have been visited by the cockroaches in their cup boards. Anyways, I have found a solution. I request my host to serve me tea in glassy (glass tumbler).

Another affection I found was in the bartender whom I visited after a few years. He offered to make 'ice on fire’ for me. He took five minute to shine the crystal glass after frequently blowing steam from his breath on the glass. I think the wet steam was required to dilute any residual dust. I had to surreptitiously pour the drink to a healthy croton lying next to my seat. That day I decided to drink rum only. No one feels the necessity to shine a glass to pour a peg of rum. Also, I presented a beautiful hand held spray bottle to the bartender to use in place of his precious breath. 

Last summer me and my sisters ordered nimbu pani in a restaurant. A smartly dressed waiter brought the drink in extra shiny glasses and said in that chikni angreji, "here is your lemonade sir."

But he was not able to tell which one was without sugar. I told him to take the drink and find out from the cook. But then I called him back.

When asked by my sister about my haughty behaviour with the waiter I told her about my unfounded fears about chikni angreji walas. And I suspected that the man would take a sip to know the taste of the nimbu pani. 

She laughed and said, "what if it was a non chikni angreji wala?"

"Oh, then I am convinced that he would have used a fresh spoon to take out the contents to taste."

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