IDHAR UDHAR KI BAAT 150 — MINI-SKIRTS AND STRATEGIC THINKING Brig PS Gothra (Retd.)

 

“You may begin, Brigadier,” said the Presiding Judge. “Do you really believe they lack strategic thinking?”

“Not at all, My Lord. Your military officers and bureaucrats are probably among the brightest young people in the country when they enter service. They are the chosen ones.”

“Then what goes wrong?”

“They forget  the objective.”

“Explain.”

“Perhaps an anecdote will help. In 1984 about 63 years ago, I appeared for an entrance examination at a mass communication institute in the capital of my country New Delhi. Unfortunately, my seat was surrounded by young ladies wearing mini-skirts. I knew all the answers. Instead, I spent my time helping the girls around me. Naturally I failed.”

The courtroom laughed.

“A few years later, I found myself sitting in an ambush at midnight. The ground was wet. Mosquitoes were biting  and some ambitious insect had started crawling up my underwear. I couldn't even move to remove it without compromising the ambush.”

I paused.

“Sitting there, I wondered: Had I concentrated on my own answer sheet that day, perhaps that night I might have been sitting beside one of those mini-skirts.”

“Stick to strategy and thinking,” said the Judge.

“My Lord. Intelligence gives you options. Strategy requires remembering the objective. My objective that day was to pass the examination. Somewhere between the first and second mini-skirt, I forgot it.”

The Defence Minister leaned forward.

“So what happens to our bright officers?”

“Two things, Minister. A few remain excellent strategic thinkers. But, unfortunately, they employ their finest strategic thinking on the wrong battlefield. Their careers, My Lord.”

The courtroom became quiet.

“I have seen otherwise brilliant officers analyse their bosses with greater accuracy than they analysed the enemy. They know what the boss likes, what he dislikes and which idea he wants to hear.”

Justice Ladyfinger laughed.

“You are exaggerating.”

“Perhaps, My Lady. But I have seen considerable operational planning devoted to inaugurations, ribbon-cuttings, seminars and the unveiling of coffee-table books that nobody subsequently opens.”

I straightened myself.

“Then there is the problem of stealing credit, that requires higher strategic ability. A subordinate produces the idea. Somebody else prepares the presentation. A third fellow executes it. Then, at the appropriate moment, the strategic thinker appears and says—"As I had visualised…”

“And the others?” asked Justice Coconut.

“You recruit racehorses, My Lord. Then the system gradually converts many of them into mules. Strong. Dependable. Hardworking. Excellent at carrying loads. The system consumes their strategic thinking ability. A young bureaucrat spends years fire fighting, handling law and order, revenue, elections, floods, VIP visits, court cases, complaints—and files generated by people who believe that movement of paper is evidence of progress.”

“And police officers?”

“Same problem. Except their phones ring more often—and almost everybody calling knows somebody important.”

“And military officers?”

“They have a different problem.”

“What?”

“The tight leash.”

“What leash?” Asked Justice Coconut.

“Budgets. Audits. Financial scrutiny. Legal scrutiny. Inspections. Frivolous work. Unrealistic timelines. Career reports. Shortages of manpower. And occasionally a boss who considers disagreement an early symptom of mutiny.”

“Surely accountability is necessary?”

“Absolutely. But accountability should prevent recklessness, not thinking. Keep an intelligent man on a sufficiently tight leash for long enough and he eventually stops asking, ‘What is the best way?’ He starts asking, ‘What is the safest way for my career?’”

“So what is your solution?” asked the Presiding Judge.

“Leave, My Lord.”

“Leave?”

“Compulsory leave. People in high-pressure appointments should take their full entitled leave, away from their duty station—and without telephoning the poor fellow temporarily replacing them.”

“How will that improve strategic thinking?” Asked Justice Coconut.

“Because strategic thinking requires something our system rarely gives an intelligent man—time when nobody is demanding an immediate answer from him.”

I continued.

“The subordinate learns to shoulder responsibility. The organisation discovers whether it has become dangerously dependent on one individual. And the man on leave finally gets enough empty space in his head to ask: Why are we doing things this way? Can it be done better?”

I continued.

“It may even reduce corruption. Because of the inherent fear of skeletons tumbling out of his cupboard while he is away.

Suddenly, a dismissed former army officer jumped up from the gallery.

“My Lord! This proposal is dangerous! No senior officer wants to spend four weeks away from the goodies attached to his appointment. If compulsory leave is introduced, they will join hands to  reduce everybody's leave entitlement. The poor fellow at the bottom will suffer!”

The Presiding Judge hammered his gavel. “Marshals! Remove him. Enough for today, the Court is adjourned.”

Note:- Next one. ‘Padded bums and bras.’