IDHAR UDHAR KI BAAT 109-- SHAGUN 501 Brig PS Gothra (Retd)

Maadarc**d Munir will again start a war and increase mehangai (inflation) in India. Thus,  making our life hell,” remarked an old man.

I tried hard to understand the context and then realised he had got it wrong. The news he was reading on the TV was about the threats made by Munir in the current Af-Pak situation.

I was still surprised when another man added, “Aaho (yes).”

This was the kind of conversation one hears in the waiting hall for attendants whose relatives are admitted to the general ward of a hospital in Punjab. I realised that people here are so conditioned to the idea of war with Pakistan that they can’t imagine a situation where some other country can have a problem with Pakistan. They don’t know that someone has managed to convince Afghanistan that their real enemy has been in disguise.

But my own disguise gave way when an old Sikh gentleman in an immaculate white pyjama-kurta smiled and said, “Saab ji, chaa piyoge? (Saab, will you have tea?)”

“I’m no saab,” I replied.

“Saab ji, including the DSC, I’ve served thirty years in the Army. I can tell from the way an army officer walks.”

With a small signal, I conveyed that we shouldn’t talk about it.

Just then another man erupted as the TV channel showed Trump, while reporting on some youths from Haryana being deported from the US. “Why do they keep showing this bandar (monkey) on TV? You know, there was a story that he sent a CIA agent to Bangladesh to get Modi killed. Putin saved him.”

A woman responded sharply, “Bada kutta hai (He’s a dog).”

I thought there would be more expletives for him, but the next news item—about a DIG’s arrest and the search of his house—made everyone fall silent and listen intently.

As the report ended, a man spoke up: “Modi te Shah nu 501 da shagun pa dena chahida hai (Modi and Shah should give a shagun of  501).”

Curious, I asked, “What does that mean?”

He replied, “Punjab is fed up with corruption. We saw hope in the Aam Aadmi Party and brought them in with ninety two seats. But they betrayed us. Now this DIG has been caught by a central agency. My suggestion is that these agencies should catch 501 more such people as a gift to the people of Punjab before the 2027 elections.”

“How will that help? People forget in six months.” I asked.

“The agencies should collect all the evidence within seven months and then arrest these corrupt people in one go. It will make a strong impression on people’s minds. When that happens, bachha-bachha of Punjab will vote for the BJP. Of course, they’ll need to field good candidates, not turncoats. That will also help the future BJP government tackle the drug menace, because the bureaucracy will finally become efficient.”

Before I could say anything, another politically aware man interrupted, “What about the money that candidates of all parties misappropriate from party funds for the rallies and congregations? Nothing will change.”

Everyone unanimously told him to shut up.

Which means — the heart of the people still beats for a corruption-free Punjab. I also realised that the thought process of people in air conditioned environment is different from the Non AC ones. And it is the Non AC who vote in greater numbers.  

Jai Hind.