IDHAR UDHAR KI BAAT 88- MERIT BASED PROMOTION Brig PS Gothra (Retd)
And I, in my infinite wisdom, had chosen this outspoken officer as my Staff Officer—maybe I believed in social service back then.
“Oh, that’s for selecting officers for higher appointments,” I replied, trying to sound nonchalant. But deep inside, my inner voice was already panicking: “Ab inhone naya panga daal diya hai.” Merit based search will now start trickling down like cold syrup through a cracked funnel, and eventually it’ll land on me—exposing me.
He said, a bit too dramatically.
“Sir, what exactly is merit?”
I cleared my throat, like an old professor preparing to recite ancient scriptures.
“Merit,” I declared, “is doing well on courses, getting top-notch reports, bagging courses like HC and NDC, landing sexy appointments in GS Branch, writing visionary papers, hosting grand sand models, getting the right kind of publicity, and of course—having a vision. But they will face a problem. At that level everyone is good. Selection process will get more subjective.”
“I don’t think sir. In this age of AI. Each
and every individual can be seen through empirically,” said the staff officer wondering that the old man has conveniently missed out field soldiering.
“Ha, Ha, you should know what you are saying. How can the AI come in this?”
“Sir, an AI analysis of the confidential reports written by an individual will give out the qualities of courage and conviction, honesty, innovation. The pen pictures written by the individual will depict the creativity or propensity to copy paste. An analysis of the media coverage will give out the level of zeal to project the organisation or oneself. An analysis of posting profile can show the risk taking capability. An analysis of the papers written by the individual will give out the vision of the individual or it can also prove the level of plagiarism. By the way sir, what’s your vision?”
“To make forces, the best in the world,” I said promptly.
He looked at me with the same face one reserves for motivational quotes found in train toilets.
“Sir, that should be the vision of the minister… not someone at your level.”
Ouch.
I pondered. Maybe he had a point. I needed
a vision proportionate to my rank. Something practical. Maybe the Chat GPT will
help. Or I will have to copy the vision in the neighbourhood.
But my dream sequence was shattered.
“Sir, do you know what people say about your vision?”
“No,” I said, bracing.
“They say your vision is whatever your boss is currently looking at. Last time when the boss visited, you sent parties ahead of his walk just to make sure his view was always… perfect.”
I clarified with pride. “That’s foresight.”
He didn’t stop.
“Sir, they also say you have a gift… of turning disasters into decorations.”
He thought the old man wouldn’t catch the
sarcasm. But I smiled anyway.
“Yes! Last time we had a royal mess here—anyone else would’ve been rattled.
But I? I called my ‘types’, wore my calmest face, and in the end, my boss sent
a citation for my award. You see, beta, you must work hard to show your
merit.”
“How, sir?”
“Well, I started my career in a field posting. Did decent. But no one cared. Then I got married—best tactical decision. My wife made up tales of my bravery. These tales spread like wildfire. She made me learn chikni angrezi too. Believe me, English with shine can get you far. Then my father-in-law got me some 'pinks'(notes with the instructors in the courses of instruction)—I did well on my courses. High grades = high perception. And remember: always raise your hand during discussions—it shows initiative.”
He nodded thoughtfully.
“Yes sir. One of your course mates said you were very confident on the sand model.”
I beamed.
“Of course! I memorised the entire introduction to sand model and terrain analysis. Instructors thought I was the next Clausewitz. Boom—liberal assessments by instructors!”
“But sir,” he added, “they also said once you rattled out terrain analysis of lower hills during a sand model discussion on deserts… and became the class clown.”
That stung.
I did what any self-respecting man would do. I hurled the paperweight at him.
He ducked. Good reflexes, that one.
And then I heard a voice.
“Stop fidgeting in your sleep. Tomorrow, go and see the doctor,” my wife mumbled beside me.
Phew. Just a dream.
What a relief. Thank God I wasn’t promoted too high—where even the holes in my underwear would be visible to my imaginary obstreperous Staff Officer.
#MilitaryHumour #MeritBasedPromotion #OfficePolitics #AIandLeadership #FaujKiKahani #SatiricalStories #DefenceHumour #ChatGPTInArmy #FaujiWisdom #DesiHumour
The visionary dream😃
ReplyDeleteYep the concept of leadership has been aptly brought out by the author. There are field and peace leadership dilemma as one grows in service, however the emergence of new type of leadership as brought out in the narration is determental to the organisation and the nation. The concept many now call is management. Its similar to corporate leadership, where the promotion and perks of the individual is supreme, without taking personal risk, trading the safest path keeping the boss happy, personal growth overshadowig organisational and the lower strata of the chain is just the stepping stones. The entire efforts are for the next level with no love lost. The chetwood motto has already gone transformational.😜
Wow 😂. Wonderful & well written. Where do we find such straight views nowadays!!! Great Bhai. Regards VZ.
ReplyDeleteTruth is always bitter, but I experienced that professionalism stands out in Army. It may take a bit of time fir the superiors ti see through the merits of a AI Type and as opposed to a rustic and Truthful Junior. But the base line is
ReplyDelete''' A leader has not to be only Good but Lucky also''' Have faith in your capabilities and also Luck line.
Wonderful 👌
ReplyDeleteGood reading and input for MS br to have a look at the current promotion process
ReplyDeleteVery well written. Field soldiering and staff officer paper tiger when balanced do work well but many carry other smart qualities too. That paploo quality in that officer plays the pivotal role.
ReplyDeleteThis is the culture and will
ReplyDeleteContinue
Gothra, beautiful article and humorous. I was always an Adjutant or staff officer and have made similar suggestions to my bosses.... Continue your writing..... I really enjoy reading them. Colonel Ike.
ReplyDeleteDear PS,
ReplyDeleteOur vision in our professional affairs is limited to our immediate boss.All the initiative had been directed to what the boss think n likes.Even in the courses or competitive exams we were expected to blurt out whatever we mugged up from precies.No out of book solutions.In fact we were restraint to think independently.
Now AI comming up free thinking n vision will further get restricted to
readymade solutions.
Once again you hv brought a serious matter very humourously.
Excellent piece sir..the right 'Type' of leadership is essential in Armed Forces.. The present system though good at places has been pushing the kind of leadership discussed in the story very high for long... to the extent that self interest can overtake organisational interest without guilt attached due to the number of successful examples in the system.. need to bring in changes.
ReplyDeleteAn interesting read.
ReplyDeleteSo called merit and purple stream of officers have driven our organization to what it is today. Would not discuss any further.
ReplyDeleteGood piece for a dream, but it is a reality.
thats a top one
ReplyDeletea fine piece, Sir
ReplyDeleteBahut badhia
ReplyDeleteHa ha, that's a tickle tale rendered with aplomb. Good one Param. 👌👏
ReplyDeleteAmazing as always, PSG!!!
ReplyDeleteInteresting Read and the truth of many a Gens.
ReplyDeleteBang on PS. Damn if anything is going to change by this novel method. It would again be a shift in the goal post to accommodate someone well connected!
ReplyDeleteWith data becoming the universal denominator in all the activities - sooner than later this dream shall turn into reality !!!
ReplyDeleteReally nightmarish dream of a senior officer. Hope, This AI and data analytics throws up real leadership in future, which possibly would be need of the time. Good prophecy.
ReplyDelete😂😂
ReplyDeleteNicely brought out.
ReplyDeleteVery well brought out. Though overall system in Fauj is fair but still there is ample scope for improvement and hope the younger generation witnesses it sooner than later
ReplyDelete“Insightful and honest, Sir. You’ve touched on a topic that resonates deeply with anyone who's spent time in uniform or any structured system. The contrast between 'merit' on paper and the realities of influence, visibility, and perception is something we’ve all witnessed at some point. I admire the way you’ve shared your experience with grace, without bitterness—just clarity. Looking forward to more such reflections.”
ReplyDeleteVery nice article. AI is the best tool today to learn anything ground up. Of course in the course of such learning one becomes a datapoint for the AI, but still its worth it. I think a very important use case of AI is taking over staff duties, indeed, could actually eliminate a lot of staff appointments. In the near future, we could even think of eliminating Staff College Course altogether. A low hanging fruit for AI incorporation would be to rate a staff officer. So, this staff officer who is talking tongue in cheek should really be wary of AI. A staff officer doesn't need to innovative, nor needs field leadership qualities. The more s/he goes the beaten track, the more better a staff officer s/he will be. My take.
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ReplyDeleteSir, Only you could turn a promotion policy into a Kafkaesque comedy starring AI ghosts and snarky staff officers! I laughed, nodded, and then checked over my own profile just to be safe. Brilliantly done—your dreamscape is everyone else's nightmare!
Sometimes, I feel that I should have behaved like the main character in the story to get ahead. Because, being righteous is overrated.
ReplyDeleteHahaha. Absolutely humorous and relatable indeed. But on the serious note Sir “merit doesn’t merit” 😜🫢
ReplyDeleteHumorous...written so well👏👏
ReplyDeleteExcellent read as always. Has given good insight in the art of improving promotional prospects. Good humour
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