IDHAR UDHAR KI BAAT 86- CHILDHOOD PERCEPTION Brig PS Gothra (Retd)

   "Is Saapad ready?" asked my father, handing over his empty tea cup to the mess boy.

   I was four. My sister was three. We exchanged that look—the look that all siblings with an age gap of three years or less know too well. It was the silent confirmation of a shared mission.

    Something new and exotic was about to be served for lunch. Saapad.

   I leaned in, whispering with all the wisdom of my extra one year of life, "It must be tastier than Papad."

   Our expectations shot through the roof. This had to be some royal feast that only officers were privileged enough to eat. We happily trotted along with our father to the officers' mess, stomachs grumbling with anticipation.

   And then— the betrayal.

   What arrived on the table was plain dal and chawal. Where was the Saapad?!

   Unable to contain my disappointment, I turned to my father and asked, "But where is the Saapad?"

   With a completely straight face, he replied, "This is Saapad. In Tamil, food is called Saapad."

   I have never felt so cheated in my life.

   This wasn’t the first time my overactive imagination had ruined my meal. Whenever my mother would  say that she is going to make Khichdi, for some strange reason, I would start daydreaming of Kheer. You can imagine the horror when the plate arrived, hot and mushy, but very much not sweet.

    That was childhood—a series of misunderstandings, broken expectations, and the occasional identity crisis.

    When I was five, a loudspeaker announcement boomed across the neighborhood:

   "A thief has been caught!"

   The entire colony rushed towards the scene, as if this was the greatest event of the decade. Naturally, I followed.

   But when I reached the spot, I saw nothing special.

   "Where’s the thief?" I whispered to my friend.

   "There," he pointed.

   I looked at the spot, expecting to see some wild, mythical creature—something out of a cartoon. A shadowy figure with glowing red eyes. Someone with the ability to climb walls like Spider-Man, covered in oil so no one could catch him.

   Instead, I saw a very ordinary boy, hands tied, sitting on the ground.

   I felt betrayed.

   Till that moment, I had firmly believed that thieves were not humans. After all, every time adults spoke about them, they made them sound like some separate species:

    "Chor deewar bhi chadh sakte hain!" (Thieves can climb any wall!)
    "Chor ki chamdi slippery hoti hai!" (A thief’s skin is slippery!)
   "Chor kale kachhe pehente hain!" (Thieves wear black underwear!)

   That day, a part of my childhood died.

   Speaking of dying, my younger sister had one of her own life-shattering revelations when she was about five.

   We were at a railway station, about to board a train, when I noticed her behaving strangely. She was dragging her feet, hesitant, looking as if she was walking towards her doom.

   "What's wrong with you?" I asked.

   She gulped, her voice barely above a whisper, "If we get on this train… we’ll die."

   Now, this was concerning.

   "Who told you that?!"

   "My friend. She said that whoever 'gaddi chadh janda hai'… dies!"

   That was when my father burst out laughing.

   My sister had fallen victim to the great Indian language trap—the phrase "Gaddi Chad Jana", is also a common idiom for passing away.

   Her friend had simply misunderstood it, and now, thanks to some six-year-old misinformation, she was convinced we were all going to meet our end on the Indian Railways.

   Looking back, childhood was full of these hilarious misinterpretations, it was a journey of ridiculous realizations. As a nine year old when people said the satellite ‘Aryabhata’ has been put into orbit I kept looking at the sky for a few nights wondering where is the second moon ‘Aryabhata’ till someone explained to me the difference.

   Life is full of misunderstandings. Some will leave you frustrated, some will make you laugh, and some will turn into stories you’ll tell for the rest of your life. Maybe one day, your biggest disappointment might just turn into your funniest memory.

        Jai Hind!

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